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A friend and a fellow trader had a stroke a few days ago. He is OK. He needs to take some action to clean up his life and leave behind some habits that have a detrimental effect on his health. He is changing his life because he has to.
My dad had his first heart attack when he was forty-nine years old. He did not change his lifestyle. He had many heart attacks and died of one four years later. He was fifty-three. He did not change what needed changing and paid the price with his life.
I worked as a counsellor for twelve years. First at a crisis telephone line then in private practice. I found that my clients came for help when it was too late. They had been fired, been thrown out of home, divorced or lost their life saving to gambling. Were the symptoms there earlier? Yes. Why did they not take action before? Why do we not change before we have to?
There are many possible explanations. Firstly people are often in denial about their problems. This denial is actually the beginning step of grieving. When someone says there is no problem, they are in denial or disbelief.
Secondly we minimize our problems (“No it is not a big deal”) and maximize our abilities (“I can handle it”). There is also the shame, guilt and embarrassment of asking for help. “If I ask for help, if I need to change things, I am admitting I have done something wrong.” Making mistakes is a big no-no in our culture. Shaming, blaming, feeling embarrassed about one’s actions is common. This is the second step of grieving.
Lastly we think one big event will fix all our problems. This can be a big winning trade, lotto win, inheritance, a lucky break. We are conditioned to believe in miracles and lucky breaks. Just watch any movie or TV program. In an hour long program, problems build up. In the last three minutes, there is a miracle cure. This leads us to expect quick fixes to long lasting problems.
Jack Welch was CEO of General Electric in USA. He gained a solid reputation for uncanny business acumen and unique leadership strategies at GE. During his tenure, GE increased its market capitalization by over US$400 billion. It was he who said “Change before you have to”.
What aspect of your life can you change ... before you have to? What aspect of your trading can you change ... before you have to? Trust me, it is much easier (and less painful) to change earlier than later.
Note: Trading Tutors Issue Number 97 has additional information on Loss and grieving.
Believe, achieve
Sinan Koray
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