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Someone is listening to your most private thoughts. That same person is very well connected, very influential and is shaping your future, right now. Taking their direction from your most private thoughts, this person has the ability to make or break you. Your successes and failures are in their hands. Whether you will be good at trading, how good you will be at trading or whether you will close your account and go depends on this person alone.
That someone is your subconscious mind and it listens to everything you say – everything. Even the deepest, most private things you say to yourself do not go unnoticed. These words you utter, quietly, in the privacy of your mind, are the foundation that your future is built on. If you are going on and on about what does not work in your life and find reasons why you are failing (or not succeeding), then your subconscious works on that: Failures and your shortfalls. I am referring to words like:
- I could have
- I should have
- Why did I
- I should have known
- I am wrong, I am bad
- I shouldn’t have trusted
- I should have trusted
- I never act on
- I always choose the failures
- I will never make it
- I haven’t got what it takes
- Only if I ........, then I would
- I hope they do not find out
- Here I go again
If these words go on and on in your mind, then watch out. You are going to have more of the same - in your life and in your trading. It is like trying “not to think” of your losses. The more you try “not to think” the more brain space they take, expanding in volume and size, adding more and more details to potential negative outcomes.
Your mind is a fantasy machine. It fantasises about what you focus on. Negative fantasies create fear, worry and withdrawal. Positive fantasies create faith, hope and determination. Most of us engage in some form of negative self talk and we all know focussing on the positive is better. So how do you change your mind chatter?
1. Notice when you are doing it (very important step).
2. Do something different, say something different.
3. Persist, no one gets good at a new skill instantly.
Saying it differently is a simple process. You know what feels good and what feels not so good. Take “I should have known”. Compare it with “I didn’t know and next time I will be more informed.” Which one feels better? Yes, it is that simple. Let go of the “Yes but” and “No but” objections and just do it. As John Stephen Veitch said: “The most important conversation is the conversation you have with yourself.” So if you want to improve your trading and your life, be very careful what you say to yourself. Someone is listening!
Believe, achieve
Sinan Koray
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